I recently had a guy wink at me. I visit his profile to learn more about him… start to browse through his photos and then…
there’s THIS.
I am deathly afraid of clowns (seriously, they give me panic attacks).
I could never EVER date a man with a clown tattoo. I would never let him touch me.
Well, I’m looking for someone hot.
Physical attraction is one thing, but personality is more important.
If I see this type of sentence in your profile, I will immediately think you winked at me because you DON’T think I’m cute.
I mow the lawn!
I’m intelligent, independent, and driven. I also: —love live music —enjoy dining out —travel, camp, and hike —mow my lawn with a red lawnmower —come from Louisville, Kentucky —train for long-distance triathlons —earned my motorcycle license —am learning to swing and salsa dance —cross-country ski You’re active, creative, and enlightened. You also: —have an upbeat personality —enjoy stimulating conversation —are a natural beauty —live a healthy lifestyle —respect others —fear nothing —smile often —have a contagious laugh
Can you believe it?! I found a man who mows his lawn with a RED lawnmower.
90% match
So the dating website that I’m currently letting expire tells me that I have new mutual matches, and that, can you believe it, I am a 90% match with this guy!
I check out his profile, just for kicks, and I read the following:
“Meeting someone for the first time is challenging, nerve wreaking and fascinating.”
“I like making new food from receipts i either find on TV or at the library including potatoes, eggs, etc.”
Apparently the 10% we don’t have in common includes spelling. And for the record, I’ve never found a receipt on TV.
some choice email and profile phrases…
These are some of my favorite phrases from emails I have received:
“you sound…like you could be some fun! I could be TOTALLY wrong, though!”
um? thanks?
“…and i have a nimble mind, or at least I know many words. and while, for some, i am an acquired taste, it is a good taste nonetheless. and yowzaa, you are outstanding…”
wow, I got a yowzaa, is that one of the many words he knows?
This one is quote from the profile of a dude that winked at me:
“I’m looking for a woman who can be serious, but has a very corky and fun side to her as well.”
I’m FAIRLY certain he means quirky…
This is the entire e-mail I received:
“Do you sing anything beside opera?”
I mean, I guess my profile says that I sing opera… is this a deal breaker?
Another profile quote… woah intense
“…and not a lot of relationships that I’d be proud of….What I need now is to feel romance again. To feel the pasion of looking into the eyes of my girl and feel the fire build up inside me! To hold hands or rub shoulders and feel that electricity flow through us as the goose bumps form and we just know we’re in love. I need that again, don’t you?”
Sounds pretty good…
Being a business owner I don’t have much time to meet people. So I figure I would give match.com a try. Just signed up …. Little bit about me… Hard working, honest (have to be when you own a business) I treat people like the way I want to be treated. I am a easy going person. Live back out in the woods… Kind of go both ways (wow that don’t sound good) teehee anyways love the outdoors and also enjoy being at home watching a movie or just relaxing… Some of my hobby’s are camping if you can call it that, have a travel trailer. Four wheeling “ATV”, Snowmobiling and believe it or not mowing the lawn. Spent allot of time with my brother out on his pontoon boat. Grilling out at home and entertaining people is a favorite past time of mine. Also I am a pretty good cook. I am a family man, love spending time with the kids. Kids are so special. I am always up to trying new things… Looking like I might be going to the North Pole this winter…. Sure hope to hear back from you… Have a GREAT day..
… until you look at his profile and realize he’s older than your dad. #facepalm.
Friendship towards relationship
My name is Pete I am 33 years old. I am looking for someone who is honest sweet funny caring romantic likes to cuddle and enjoys my company also. I do not drink or smoke a personal choice. I have a full time job at a hospital as a floor care specialist. I have my own car too. I am going back to school at MATC to finish my program in IT Support Computer Specialist to get a better job. I like the outdoors going camping, watching brewers games and other sporting events too. I am looking for someone who is set with there life and is ready for the next step. If you are interested in talking to me more great. I can’t wait to here from you, talk to you soon.
I don’t even know what to say. I mean, he sounds like a keeper - HE EVEN HAS HIS VERY OWN CAR. Well then I looked at his photo. And… delete.
Second email
RE: Re: Thanks for the wink!
Its a going. How are you doing? I like movies sex drinks brewer games working out sports cooking going out to eat and much more. What do you do for fun?
I appreciate you being up front about your interests, but in the future, I would recommend NOT listing sex as one of the things you do for fun. I mean, I get it. But at least keep it in your pants til we meet.
